South Africa declares Chinese people Black

“Everybody want to be Black but don’t nobody want to be Black.” ~ Paul Mooney


Synopsis:
In a recent decision, the High Court in South Africa officially reclassified Chinese South Africans as black people. Since the end of apartheid 14 years ago, affirmative action polices aimed at improving the standard of living for black people have generally excluded ethnic Chinese South Africans. And though popularly regarded as white and at one time officially classified as people of mixed race, The Chinese Associations of South Africa pushed its application to the high court citing discrimination against its members.

South Africa’s ethnic Chinese population is estimated around 200,000. Chinese activists say they also fought against apartheid. Meanwhile the association stated that discrimination against Chinese South Africans was prevalent during apartheid and that still today its members often fail to attain job promotions or business contracts because they are regarded as whites.

The BBC’s Mpho Lakaje in Johannesburg says the Broad-Based Economic Empowerment and the Employment Equity Acts were designed to eradicate the legacy of apartheid which left many black people impoverished.

The laws give people classed as blacks, Indians and coloureds (mixed-race) employment and other economic benefits over other racial groups.

The Black Economic Employment concept was initiated by the governing ANC to help previously disadvantaged individuals - to start their own businesses or become part of existing companies - thus redressing the country’s historic inequalities.

A study released last month revealed that white South Africans still earn around 450% more than their black counterparts, 14 years after the end of apartheid.

The association pointed to the case of an oil company making the nation’s largest empowerment transaction and excluding Chinese saying they were not covered in the classification codes. As well, the association presented a case from two years ago in which a Chinese national was refused the opportunity to buy shares from the Johannesburg Stock Exchange.

Of the three government agencies named as respondents, none offered any opposition to the application.

Lil' Wayne Sells One Million (in a Week)


Um... congrats?


Your favorite raspy rapper has gone platinum in one week. Selling one million copies since its June 10 release "The Carter III", Wayne's sixth album, gives him the best debut so far this year. The last album to sell one million in its debut week was "The Massacre" by 50 Cent. No album in 2006 broke 800,000 copies sold in its first week out. Kanye West's 2007 effort "Graduation" was a mere 50,000 shy of the platinum mark selling 957,000 in its first week despite the competition from Curtis (no pun intended).

Celtics Win 17th NBA Title


"What you expect?!"
The anticipation was built. The broadcasting network seemed all to eager to display their video montages of slow-motion highlights set to grandiose scores fitting a John Williams dream. Phil Jackson hoping to win his 10th Finals to surpass Red Auerbach (famous Celtics coach) in playoff series won. The Celtics poised to win the NBA Finals avoiding Game 7 and earning their 17th NBA title and first championship in 22 years.

Tiger Captures a Dramatic 3rd U.S. Open

"...the best player that ever played."

Rocco Mediate described Tiger Woods as such Sunday following the number one ranked player's clutch birdie (one below par) putt to force an 18-hole playoff Monday. Tiger had been one stroke behind the leader, made a few flawed shots on the final hole of what was the final round but stunned all with a bumpy 12-foot putt to finish with a share of the lead. The resulting playoff was possibly the greatest match seen in decades at the U.S. Open.

‘Chu Know About That?: So Fresh and So Clean

“If you don’t know, you betta ask somebody… BABY!!”

As I grow older there are certain things that I’m actually starting to understand, or even more frightening, they are starting to make sense to me. Of course these are the harmless but tacky parts of our culture that i’m sure only we (you know which ‘we’) do, but still I should probably let them fall by the wayside. Though just to make sure none of these would ever come to pass, I started checking with my girl to see what she thought of them. Also to make sure she knew about them, cus some times you think something is Black famous and then you find out somebody’s card is in jeopardy. [Hold up... JUST to break it down. Black famous is best summed up in that reaction you get when you mention someone like (i don't know) Gerald Levert to members of the 'ethnic majority' versus the reaction you'd get asking us if we knew who he was.] The following things have been deemed Black famous:

Plastic Couch Covers

I’m not sure when this began. However at some point, we (people) decided we needed to preserve our furniture for … hell, i don’t know. Now that i think about it, it’s not like we took the covers off when there was a party … or ever. Nor did we only put it on for guests, so really for whom were we saving these seats. My girl said “You know, i always wondered about the plastic. I mean, what are you doing to these couches that you need to protect them like that? It’s like you’re saying you’re that nasty.”

Cushy Bathroom Toilet Seat

Honestly, I always knew just how old the residents where when i saw this seat. And/or how ghetto, Nobody under 35 has one of those in their house. BUT i’m not gone lie… that cushy toilet seat was never cold. The whole rest of the house could be cooler than Freddy Jackson sippin’ a milkshake in a snowstorm (c~Outkast) but that seat was still warm (and soft). Granted maybe it denotes that somebody was spending far too much time poppin’ a squat, but hey, at least they were comfortable. However, why is it that that seat never matched anything. And i don’t just mean in the bathroom, i mean anything… ever.

Plastic Walkway

Had to come back to this one, mainly cus there may be people that don’t have the plastic on the couch thinking they high-sadiddy, but d*mn sure have that walk way covering some piece of carpet that no feet will ever touch again. Why? Maybe folks just walk there that much. Maybe nobody takes their shoes off. Which i find hard to believe knowing that when we have some new carpet can’t nobody walk on it. How they’re supposed to get to where they need to go… walk along the edges, take big steps, or… stay on the plastic trail.

Manual Blackout

Now this one right here used to piss me off. It could be the lightest rain ever. Or at best thundering way off in the distance. The TV, the lights, the radio, the fan, the VCR (am i missing something) all had to be off (and depending on how close the storm was unplugged). Did it plug in… turn it off. Was it expensive… turn it off? Could lightening unbelievably jump through the closed window and make it explode without catching anything else on fire… turn it off. You know who the only person who doesn’t do it in my family is… my mom. Sure enough she lost a laptop when lightening struck the outside of the particular outlet it was plugged into and shorted it out. Chances?!

The Museum Room

So beautiful. One could go so far as to claim it pristine, if you will. Scratch that; it is pristine. Know why? Cus NOBODY EVER USES THIS ROOM FOR ANYTHING!!! It’s there to be looked at by guests. And even they don’t use the room. I mean sure if Obama was coming to dinner MAYBE, just MAYBE you may actually see what this room looks like from the inside. That’s right, you can’t even walk in this room. You d*mn near got yelled at for even thinking about that room. Breathing all that room’s good air. Best gone somewhere with that!

_____________________________________

I bring these gems of our culture up because I know as we rise and educate and advance ourselves, they will fall by the wayside. I know i will use every room i ever have. JUST cus i can. Hahaha! But that doesn’t mean I might not pull one of these just so my kids can know of these experiences first hand. Of course I mean my eventual kids… yeah, there are a few things i will put them through just so they have the experience. Tsk Tsk Tsk.

I say this as if some of you might do the same. I would hope most of you are familiar with one or more of these few strands in the dashiki that is 'our' culture. In fact, you know you have at least one relative for each of these things. Don’t lie. You may have plastic on yo couch right now! Hell, I turn out the lights anytime a lightening strikes uncomfortably close to my place. And I won’t be mad if i catch my kids doing it one day too. One less laptop to replace.

P.S.> Yes, the pic is an example of the opposite end of the spectrum.

One man’s trash…

Recently came across this Stevie Wonder throwaway clip from 1974 thanks to ?uestlove. He may not blog that often, but he definitely makes up for it with the quality rather than quantity. Now, the cautionary tone in his words were straight out of The Ring. “If you listen to this, you will die!” Ok, ok, really it was more like “…you will not stop listening to this… for seven days!”

My dumbass went and played it not realizing he meant that!! No, no. Correction!! He meant, ‘You may be late to work listening to this at home. You may not pay enough attention to your girl analyzing the changes and appreciating Stevie’s impeccable vocals, thus leaving you lonely. But you won’t care. You’ve got this tease of musical greatness to keep you warm; make you remember what music could be.’ ::sigh:: Please understand that my life has been measured in 45 second intervals for the past week.
Now, you may have a chance at freedom from the clutches of this clip in that the one provided here for you will not repeat (unlike Mr. Thompson’s post - good job, sir). Hopefully, for your sake, you come away with the feeling that this bit of aural pleasure was over-hyped. Something to the effect of, “It’s not really all that. I don’t know why Rev was trippin’. Where’s my Usher album?”
In that case, you probably aren’t listening to it right. Just like folks that say sex is overrated probably aren’t doing it right (or they’re partners suck - or don’t - i digress). Nevertheless, I bestow upon you the credit you deserve. Thus assuming you can appreciate even 1/3 of the music in this 45 second clip, you will probably react as my boy did when I told him about it. In fact I’ll leave you with that convo:

The Reverend (3:50:35 AM): i am tempted not to do this to you… cus i know u will listen to this
The Reverend (3:50:38 AM): TOO much
The Reverend (3:50:49 AM): [Stevie Wonder - 1974 snippet]
Homey (3:50:49 AM): dont do it
The Reverend (3:50:54 AM): aw
The Reverend (3:50:57 AM): don’t click on it then
The Reverend (3:50:59 AM): save yourself
The Reverend (3:51:02 AM): it will consume you
Homey (3:51:09 AM): but its right there
Homey (3:51:12 AM): i have to click on it
The Reverend (3:51:16 AM): noooo
The Reverend (3:51:21 AM): you have so much to live for
Homey (3:51:30 AM): but its right there tho
Homey (3:51:34 AM): you didnt have to do it..
The Reverend (3:51:43 AM): ok, read… this first
The Reverend (3:52:09 AM): [?uestlove's OkayPlayer Blog Post]
The Reverend (3:52:18 AM): this is the closest i can do to prepare you and warn you
The Reverend (3:53:07 AM): and unlike the link i clicked, the one i sent you won’t automatically play it on repeat
The Reverend (3:53:14 AM): so maybe if you only hear it once you may escape
Homey (3:54:51 AM): wtf
Homey (3:55:01 AM): why the fuck would you do that tho…
Homey (3:55:06 AM): its fucking stevie wonder
Homey (3:55:13 AM): not some schmuck
The Reverend (3:55:47 AM): HAHAHAHAHA
Homey (3:56:04 AM): thats not even conceivable

Sidenote: Definitely cop that “Songs In the Key of Life” by Sir Steveland. I’m currently jamming “Summer Soft” but other favorites include “Knocks Me Off My Feet”, “As”, “I Wish” and pretty soon “All Day Sucker”.

The Storm Is Over (for) Now

Synopsis: “Thank you, Jesus!”

Yes, those were the words repeated over and over by R. Kelly (aka Kels) as the final few counts were delivered by the official Friday according to one of his attorneys, Sam Adam Jr. Originally indicted on June 6, 2002 on 21 counts of sexual intercourse with a minor these were eroded over six years to 14 counts soliciting a minor for child pornography. If convicted, 41-year old R. Kelly faced up to 15 years. (Yes, Public Announcement was a long time ago.)

After seven hours of deliberation, the jury of nine men and three women acquitted Kelly on all counts. Apparently the jury (four black, eight white) remained as divided throughout deliberation as they began - seven voting not guilty, five voting guilty. The “burden of proof” was on the prosecution. Jurors cited the ambiguity as to the identities of those on the tape. Notably, whether or not the 23-year old on the stand was the same individual as the minor in the video.

“You want to be 100 percent sure it’s Kelly and (the alleged victim),” one juror said. “What we had wasn’t enough.”

Another juror said prosecutors left too many questions unanswered.

“All of us felt very much the grayness of this case,” he said.

Several jurors said one weakness in the prosecution’s case was that neither the alleged victim nor her parents testified.

The alleged victim’s family also presented a puzzle for the jury; three relatives testified they did not recognize her as the female on the tape, while other relatives said she was on the tape. (AP/M. Tarm)

The defense also painted the alleged victim as an extortionist stating that in exchange for her silence she allegedly requested hundreds of thousands of dollars from Kelly. Also claiming she at one point stole a $20,000 watch from the famed South Side Chicago native. Kelly was visibly emotional wiping tears as the verdict was read. Also, holding hands with his flanking body guards as he exited the court.

Editorial:

Kels better pray. All of this is over for now. As we all know, the next thing to happen is Kels will do something strangely confessional such as … i don’t know… calling yourself the Pied-Piper of R&B. And just like that, Kels goes on that list of people you would not leave yo’ kids around. Mike (Michael Jackson), as much as I love Off The Wall you are on that list too. Now i’m not saying you (Mike) did anything, but i could believe it if you did.

Kels,.. ::sigh:: …I seen that there tape, mayn. Now I’ma put it like Ed Gordon did (back when BET had News anchors): “Unless you got a real twin, it would be hard for anyone not to believe it was you on that video.” That said, you need to do two things… never utter the word “girl” again in reference to anything or anybody and sing yo ass off. Sing for your life. Like how Kobe played better during his case than he ever did. Pray that album in July is the jam. You may be claiming the “King” title now, but you need to hit that “legendary” status… so folks will forget. (Ok, maybe not forget… but let this sli-i-i-ide. Best make that live tour the jam too.)

Fail: ???????

It’s quiet. A little too quiet.

So I had in mind who Failed this week, but on second thought their shortcomings weren’t that crucial. In fact, their perspective follows a predictable line of logic they have been up to for months. Also, most of it revolved around Hillary again (and two Fails is beating a dead horse - where did this saying come from, who was out beating dead horses?). Whether it be Bob Johnson’s “please baby please” urging for Senator Obama to select his favorite blonde as VP or the millions (::like The Rock fans:: “and millions”) of people who are seriously considering voting for McCain just because Haterade didn’t seal the deal, AfroThought is beyond wasting a fail on them. However we’ve mentioned a larger looming darkness… (”Darkeness is spreading”).

Thankful as we are, it has been at tad long since the last Black embarrassment. You know the moment i mean. You hear a news report about some fool whose blunder made it to the national stage and all you are thinking is “Please don’t be Black; please don’t be Black, please don’t be … d*mn D*mn D*MN (shaking Good Times style)!!” Sure enough. Now you’re hoping there is some angle that this brotha’s actions were understandable but of course there isn’t. Not even close. Like the DC sniper. For the remainder of history brothas can no longer go… “somebody sniping folks? Mayn, white folks are crazy.” That there was a stereotype you could have left alone. A glass ceiling window, basement window (with bars over it), that was perfectly fine in tact.

So who’s it going to be? More so… when? If possible can it hold off ’til December? And Mr. Embarrasment can you not be famous? As in, all you celebrity’s and public figures stop f*ckin’ up for the next six months. I know that’s alot to ask. I know you it pains you to go through everyday knowing you are passing up perfectly good moments to throw your life away. But please, just give us til December. Now, why am I so paranoid? Well, think about it. We’re doing pretty well this year. Last thing i can really think of was Vick and that was late ‘07 really so that doesn’t count. Did the Source Awards pass already? I know we have the BET awards later this month. How about we ride this thang on out? There are plenty of dumb ninjas out there waiting to be an embarrassment to themselves, their family and their people. How about we just be cool? That’s what we do. Ain’t a day I’m not proud of how cool we can be. Let’s just bank on that real quick. At least til December or even the start of ‘09. After that there inauguration, do you. Alright, then. Ready… break.

Boondocks Season 2 punks BET

"Bask in the Thugnificence!"

So I was going to save this bit of news, but for those of you who don't know... The Boondocks Season 2 drops Tuesday. For those of you not up on The Boondocks, you are sooooooooo missing out. Consider your Black card in jeopardy.

Clinton Endorses Obama

“Ain’t no stoppin’ us now…”

In a speech this afternoon, Senator Hillary Clinton officially withdrew from the race for the Democratic party nomination and endorsed Senator Barack Obama. The announcement of today’s speech came only a couple days ago but already much anticipation and even more speculation surrounded the event. Amongst a crowd of supporters Hillary offered the following in her 28-minute address…

“The way to continue our fight now to accomplish the goals for which we stand is to take our energy, our passion, our strength and do all we can to help elect Barack Obama, the next president of the United States.

Today as I suspend my campaign, I congratulate him on the victory he has won and the extraordinary race he has run. I endorse him and throw my full support behind him and I ask of you to join me in working as hard for Barack Obama as you have for me.”

Many have questioned the future of Senator Clinton following her concession. Interviews with supporters offer a range of guesses including Vice President and cabinet member. Additionally, Obama was reported to have privately met with Senator Clinton days ago though the topic of discussion remains unclear.

Clinton to Drop Presidential Bid

Literally, not a moment too soon.

Reports from the Clinton campaign announce that she will concede her party’s nomination Saturday and endorse Senator Obama. A conference call to senior Democrats was among the turning points in her stance. She still has yet to publicly admit she lost the contest. However, all primaries have concluded and Clinton remains short of the necessary delegate count needed to become the Democratic nominee. Supporters were stunned in her speech as Obama claimed victory in which she seemed determined as ever to press onward.

Many (including we here at AfroThought) have speculated that her prolonged campaign was a tactic to position herself as the prominent choice for Vice President. Public opinion seems mixed about an Obama-Clinton ticket. While some feel it would unite the party, others feel she would negate the “change” so desired by the Obama campaign. It is however clear that Obama needs a running mate with foriegn policy experience, as well as experience in Washington. However many more see Clinton as far too polarizing a figure to aide the Obama ticket. Her active endorsement will definitely be much needed among the voting groups with which Obama has had difficulty. Clinton has expressed strong commitment to do “whatever it takes” to makes sure her party wins in November.

Obama Clinches Democratic Nomination

“Who’s the man with the masterplan?!”

In a historic occasion last night, Senator Barack Obama officially declared himself the Democratic party’s presumptive nominee. Following the primaries in both Montana and South Dakota, the Illinois senator crossed the threshold of 2,118 necessary delegates needed to clinch to nomination. Obama is expected to have an estimated 2,156 delegates garnered not only by the primaries but also an influx of super-delegates.

In the past week, in effort to bring the heavily contested democratic nomination race to an end, the Obama campaign reached out to super-delegates who were on the fence or leaning in the direction of his campaign to make endorsements; thus receiving backing from super-delegates in Oregon, Colorado, Guam, Wyoming, California and Texas. The results of the primaries split as expected were still enough to push Obama well beyond the needed delegates. In fact, it has been reported for weeks that Obama could lose every remaining primary with a 40-60 margin and still clinch the nomination. Now June 3, 2008, he has made history as the first African-American to clinch a major party’s Presidential nomination.

As-Dunkin’ Alaykum

“First off, f#@k your b!tch and the click you claim!!”

So apparently Dunkin’ Donuts wants to make you imbibe terrorism (one over-portioned ice coffee at a time). Apparently the scarf in an ad featuring their mascot Rachael Ray (that’s right… i said mascot, what?!) has sparked anti-terrorism sentiments in a right-wing blogger who managed to fan it into her 15seconds of fame (no one has minutes of fame anymore). The black and white scarf supposedly is too similar to a traditional Arab keffiyeh. Why is that a problem?, you ask. Naturally your average American assumes ‘remotely similar to Arab’ equals terrorist, thus complaints arose that the scarf was the same kind worn by extremists and thus gives some the impression Dunkin’ is supporting their views.

“Fashion statements may seem insignificant, but when they lead to the mainstreaming of violence - unintentionally or not - they matter,” Ms Malkin has written.

Mainstreaming of violence?! You think a silky scarf is corrupting society. Wow!! And do u think black cats worship the devil?! (Response is probably “No, just their owners”). In this action-blockbuster per weekend, shoot-first-spread-democracy-later presidency, ‘dead-nine-is-a-headline’ country we live in, you really think violence can be any more mainstreamed by a silky scarf? Or worse that the silky scarf promotes terrorism? ‘Terror eye for the straight guy?’ That’s just over-sensitive. I’m not even gone add a qualifier to explicitly make that editorial, no, i’m stating that sh*t as fact. As in, I hope a majority of people would be afraid to know there are people that agree with you working near them, sleeping by them, shopping where they shop. Be afraid. Raise the alert to a metro-sexual pastel.

Badass of the Moment: Aung San Suu Kyi

"I wish somebody would!"

So alot of cats talk about being revolutionary. But Ms Aung San is actually doing it. Even more badass is she is not hiding about it. Now i know i don't know the entire politics of the situation, but i've read enough to understand that the Junta don't take no mess. (Remember the Saffron Revolution crackdowns.) In fact, up until recently they didn't take anything; criticism, surveys, protests, aid, time for the people - you name it.

Hold up?! Lindsay Lohan is signed to Motown?!!!*

Hmm, how do i say this…. oh right…. “WHAT THE F*CK?!!”
My how you’ve fallen Motown. There are SO many artist that should be carrying the legacy of Motown. I mean sure… Lohan… cash cow… if you got the time and materials. But at what cost, Motown?! At what cost?!

Granted, somebody has to profit off of her. Hell, i’ll even promote the reverse-oppression of the black label sending the white girl out to trick on stage then bring that dollar home (essentially pimpin’… with what we’ll call … music?!) That’s fine, they (the melanin-deficient) stole and mangled all the styles of music we created so why not bank off their efforts. (In this case, collect royalties from a Lohan.) “Royalties… like the reparations we never had”.

Badass of the Moment: Kimbo Slice

That's right, Kimbo f*ckin' Slice!!

Now, there are some cats you know you'd rather not fight if you can avoid it. Sure you'd try if you had to but you know you wouldn't win. Like Mike Tyson... he has made it clear that he wants to eat your children. Maybe it's that slight bit of crazy that puts a dude into the category. For instance, Kimbo Slice.

Everyone who doesn’t disagree is invited!!

Cliff note: If I say “Jump”, don’t ask “how high?” just jump til you get it right! Who said you could question me?! You plottin’ on me?!

Recently I was talking to a friend who went to a function in support of the Burmese people. I say “Burma” in support of the opposition in contrast to the officially declared “Myanmar”; besides Bibbidy just sounds better. Anyway, at this function my friend was talking to cats who had been political prisoners in the country. They told him about all the conditions in the prisons (four to a cell, a bucket for biowaste), protests and the zero-tolerance with which they are embraced.

So my friend asks one cat how he finally got out of the country. The gentleman answered ‘actually quite easily. They know protesters are more trouble inside than out, so the govt kind of give us the boot.’ Which sounds peachy until you realize that this cat was a doctor in his homeland and since that government won’t substantiate his credentials, he had to start from scratch here. Sucks.

Recently the junta government ruling Burma passed a new constitution as supposedly approved by a vote of the public. They claim 92% of the public voted for this constitution; a claim balked at by external agencies and internal opposition forces as no more than ‘make-believe’. Why you ask? Well on May 10, the government passed the referendum stating 99% of the populous turned out at the ballots. Did they now? I’m sure we all know that 99% of Myanmar was NOT chillin’ on the 10th waiting to cast a vote. Even the government has said tens of thousands are still displaced from the cyclone and will cast their vote on May 24. Pick a story, y’all.

The constitution enshrines the junta’s hold on power and excludes the main opposition leader, Aung San Suu Kyi, from holding office.

Under its terms, 25% of seats in both houses of parliament would be guaranteed for the military - making it impossible to alter the constitution without their backing.

Source: BBC News | Burma ‘approves new constitution’

Badass of the Moment: Barack Obama

Had to wait for the primaries…

And then i had to wait for the spin consensus. I mean you got to give this brother props on patience alone. Every other week something is trying to get in his way. Somebody is trying to talk down on him. And SOMEBODY is trying to act like she is the better candidate, knowing good and well she fell off.

This week though, he is the democratic party’s “likely presidential nominee” according to the dude who was all set to be Vice President in 2004. He has also taken the Super-Delegate endorsement lead; not to mention holding the pledged delegate lead and primary lead. All he needs now is for his nomination rival to make some disastrous blunder than even her most secret of ‘arm-twisters’ can’t clean up. But that wouldn’t be as much fun as making people admit that he just plain won, rather than she lost.

Badass Theme Song: James Brown - Superbad

NOW You're Older...

Did anyone ever appreciate the ‘one to grow on’?

Just a quick thought. It’s funny how people act like they aren’t a year older until their birthday… as if they haven’t been aging for the last 11 months. Funny, yet understandable. After about 21, you stop having that desire to be one year older. Personally, if i could work out some Highlander-ish immortality at age 26 I’d be set. (I imagine the cat that realizes he’s immortal at 86 is just pissed off.)

Maybe those old people you keep being surprised aren’t dead yet are immortal and just haven’t reached that ‘f*ck it’ stage yet. I’m sure most people don’t have the patience to be old for eternity. Hence the world record for age. They real feat is not that you fought off death that long, oh no… it’s that you could stand to be that old for yet another year. Ain’t nothing new under the sun, yet you stuck around for the ’same ole different day’ anyway. Bravo. Clearly you had a vast stock of patience that you were in no rush to burn through. (No pun intended.)

I’ve always been amused by the sitcom character of the elderly person somewhat bitter they are still alive. They aren’t suicidal, just tired of the majority of life. So they wake up and cuss more before dawn than you may all day. (Old folks wake up EARLY.) They have a few pleasures left, but the rest passed on far before their host; leaving a mind tired of thinking, a smile tired of smiling, and a person generally exhausted of the common niceties feigned as part of civility. Thus you have … your grumpy old man.

(As opposed to your dirty old man, whom you probably have a good idea who that will be right now… don’t you? ::shouting as Herbert:: "There can be only one!")

Dumb it down!!

Go sit down til you learn how to appreciate this here…

In the R&B aisle of my most frequented spot to pick up music (as in ‘yes, i actually like having a physical CD and reading liner notes from a booklet’), I ran into a melanin-deficient fellow who asked me what was new. His question being general as f*ck, I asked him what style he was into. He responded that he wanted some ‘real singers’. Instantly, a list popped into my head. As I prepared to see how far into the ‘real singers’ he got so i could make a suggestion he interrupted. You know how they say, ‘Better to be thought a fool and remain silent…’ … yeah. He sees the Jill Scott CD in front of him and says “Yeah, but, not Jill Scott though. I want somebody with some pipes; like Mary J.” Wow, really? He then proceeded to attempt to let me in on ‘the real thing’. Supposedly he saw Jill in concert and felt she was too wrapped up in being Jill Scott; kept doing all these ‘vocal things’. ::sigh:: I asked him ‘what makes you feel that way?’ He couldn’t say, only that ’she just gave that vibe’. Ri-i-i-ight. Sounds like some personal insecurities to me, homey.

Now, I don’t know when i learned to be able to hear pitch as well as I do now. Maybe it was from gospel choir or just singing everyday, but i refuse to accept that Mary J is off-key stylistically - as this guy was seriously trying to convince me. Don’t front, as much as we love Mary (actually love is a strong word, like ‘hateration’), she isn’t really that nice. But she’s not supposed to be. You’re supposed to like Mary J cus she’s like the homegirl you used to hang with... and apparently never treated right, even though you knew she wanted to share her world with you; she's not gon’ cry though (sound about right?). As an artist anyway, you’re supposed to like Mary cus she is raw, not always on point, not really that impressive vocally, but instead makes you feel the song. At least that’s how it used to be. In all honesty, I stopped listening to Mary when Puff and ‘nem stopped putting her over Roy Ayers (”My Life”); with the exception of “I Can Love You Better” it’s been steadily downhill since.

So since this dude asked me for a recommendation, i figured i’d still try to put him up on somebody new. Or at least new to him. The strange thing is he knew some obscure folks like Chico DeBarge, but then again only liked his second album. I can let that slide, Chico’s first was more cohesive overall (easily playable from start to finish you could say it averaged higher), but the second has some strong songs that could stand out over the first. I realized it’s hard to suggest someone in Mary’s vein of R&B. After running through a few more suggestions that were either too pop or too ‘full on themselves’ (what the rest of us call “talented”) I started to let him weed out more choices. The one thing we both mentioned is that folks aren’t really droppin’ CDs with real vocals anymore. I mean it’s somewhat ironic that Nas was making a big hype about Hip-Hop being dead when R&B is much closer. I mean I separate the Soul cats from the rest of R&B. I mean the last non-pop R&B male i remember was Carl Thomas, i guess you could give that to John Legend now, or maybe Trey Songz (based on his first album, but the second…i’d need to hear more). And beyond Alicia Keys, Beyoncé and Keyshia J Blige (i count them as the same person) who is really making moves in R&B? By the way, all the King of Pop idolizers (too many to name) and the plethora of two-hit wonders and T-Painakon were grouped as Pop (Pop & B if it makes you feel better). As he picked up CD’s i started just giving him loose information about each. For example, he picked up Amel Larrieux. I told him about her voice, brief bio, how he ‘may like her style’ (i knew he wouldn’t though- he stopped just short of saying he wanted 50 cent or Tupac as a singer). Sure enough, he passed. Later he mentioned he loved Sade and then picked up Sweetback’s album essentially saying ‘who are these chumps’; i guess they looked dorky to him. So told him how they are Sade’s backing band. He was intrigued, then i mentioned how they picked Amel to lead one of their more recent albums. Oh now he was interested …r-i-i-ight.

Did i mention that he vehemently disliked Neo-Soul, but later listed D’Angelo, Erykah Badu, and Maxwell among his favorites?! (Yes, i pointed out how they are ‘Neo-Soul’; he was like ‘yeah, but they don’t really give off that vibe. To which i was clarified ‘No, i mean they birthed/define the genre, Erykah and D’Angelo’s label-owner [Kedar Massenburg] coined the term.’) Sidenote: I actually don’t like the term ‘neo-soul’ and actually just say ’soul’ but for him i had to make it clear. It really got to the point where i felt like some force was f*cking with me, showing me this cat so contradictory but so opinionated. Like i can respect your opinions (let you disagree with me) all day, but when you disagree with yourself I have to call you out on it. It’s for your own good. Clearly part of you doesn’t know what the rest of you is thinking, maybe you two have never met. Allow me to reintroduce your self (…your name is ‘Hov’ - had to do it - hmph, Just Blaze is slighty underrated - i mean he’s Black-famous, but that’s about it).

I have this theory. The more talented a singer (and many a rapper) is, the less famous they will be. For instance, I would bet more people know who Ashanti is over say Tamia or Ray J rather than Amel Larrieux. It’s a two-point-five part theory. On one end, i reason that labels feel the less talented artist needs all the help they can get so they push (or market/advertise) them harder to build the hype and from there it’s up to that artist to ‘not mess up’ so that people can talk themselves into believing in that artist. However that same consumer is at fault on the other end, they don’t like good music anymore. For so long they’ve allowed the ‘tastemakers’ to tell them what they like that they actually don’t like talent anymore. They don’t want to hear someone knocking ‘em dead. But rather someone just slightly better than what they could do, or at least someone whose skills they can wrap their head around, and then hail that person as the truth. (I’m not impressed by anyone doing what i can do… why should i be though. C’mon, when is the last time a cartwheel floored you as a display of physical prowess?) Lastly (the point five), I fault the talented musicians for not trying to make better songs. Some lay out some real art that goes unnoticed (hey… it happens- someone will find it one day). Others try to show out over any organization of notes. No wonder no one listens to you. Look, just cus you nice doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. How am I supposed to promote you to someone knowing your song will bore them. It’s understandable though, you are a good singer, not a good songwriter. Shoot most of these two-hit wonders didn’t write their hit. (Which is also why they soon vanish, cus we can just get anybody to sing that hit.) What if you the good singer did it? Or does that make too much sense. You could make a crap song, legendary. Anyway, you know who you are - step your game up. There is already enough mediocrity out there, quit coasting. You can be replaced you know.

Dude had a stack of recommendations he was going to check out at the listening stations in the store. None of which were really moving to me, but at least they were new to him; baby-steps. Maybe for the first time in his life he’d be open-minded; give music a chance. Ha, we know good and well that’s not gon’ happen. On my way out, i saw his stack waiting to be re-shelved. As i figured, he didn’t want something new, but rather the same songs from somebody/anybody else. Sad thing is … it seems that’s what everybody wants now. So snap yo fingers… two-ste-e-ep, cus y’all can do that all by yourselves. No one is making anything better, and no one is discovering anything better. Thus the art of music shrivels. I figure once everything sounds similar enough, a new sound can finally sweep in and save the rest of us.

The Contest

The jiggaboo is up, y’all. Prophet knows about the contest. Apparently there is a competition to see who can ‘break the cracker’. Black celebrities vie to individually and in one act make white folks revoke emancipation. Supposedly anyone near a TV camera can compete. An internet version will be organized soon, but tryouts/qualifiers have begun already. I’m not exactly sure what this contest’s prize is, but apparently that’s what everyone is keeping they’re eye on now.

Free at last…

… i couldn’t feign any more enthusiasm.

Synopsis: US hip-hop artist Foxy Brown has been released from jail after serving eight months of her one-year sentence.

The punishment stemmed from an attack on two Manhattan nail salon stylists over a $20 (£10) manicure in 2004, which led to three years probation.

She was then jailed last September when she was accused of hitting a woman with a mobile phone and a judge ruled she was not taking probation seriously.

She spent 76 days in isolation after having a fight with another inmate.

Foxy Brown’s albums include Ill Na Na and Chyna Doll, which went to number one in the US in 1999. (BBC News)

Wow… really?!

You know… she and Flava Flav might really hit it off… let it marinate.

Then Comes Marriage...

Al Green - Love & Happiness

“Something that’ll make you do wrong, make you do right…”

I know this is not news anymore, but i couldn’t not speak on it (that’s my hometown favorite right there). Honestly, this makes too much sense on his part. People rarely do something that makes so much sense. I mean, yes, there is still the possibility that in the next decade we will hear that one of them f*cked up and they are getting separated. I’m sure someone is putting that headline in a file right now. In the meantime though we just saw a dude realize who the best was and lock that up. Wow, wisdom?!

For the last 6 years I been figuring it was just a matter of time til they each met other people. Also I was wondering why Jay had yet to throw a ring at her. Maybe he had (i know i would - first date; no matter how awkward), maybe she just wasn’t ready. Who cares really? I just found the acuity of it striking. They didn’t screw up (…yet?).

I mean of course this is assuming neither of them is crazy. Particularly Miss Knowles… er Mrs Carter (if i’m nasty). Though that’s inevitable. Everyone is crazy in some form or another. Usually it just gives them character. Also it doesn’t matter in those cases of matrimony ’cause their crazy works with your crazy and you are [insert Beyoncé song title - try one w/o 'in Love' for added MadLib fun].

People still fret over finding that special someone though and I tell them “Find true happiness being single and someone will come along.” I’m not sure if they mean ‘to ruin that bliss’ or are simply ‘attracted to your glow’ (Sho-Nuff). Maybe i oversimplify the advice or maybe they just don’t want to hear that, but no one ever listens to the gent that’s rarely single. What does he know? What do I know? I know that Jay-Z best not f*ck up (literally - how you upgrade from her, really?) and I bett’ not be single when he does… kidding (...not really).

New G’s. Peace.

Don’t push me, cus I’m close…*

Rant #319a^6! (factorial, b*tches)

I love my people (Black people). Not a day goes by that at some point I don’t love being Black. Yes, those of you who aren’t, you are missing out, hahahaha. (The inevitable “but” is mounting.) I don’t know how best to explain it. One example is how I habitually bestow a generic ‘i got yo back’ nod without question when passing other brothas. I figure the last things we need against us are other brothas/sistas.

BUT … (exhale)… D*MN if i’m not close to that ebony apathy; the point where Black people just stop caring. ‘Caring about what?’ you ask. Other Black people; cus we’re f*cking up right now. You’ve seen that brotha/sista here and there, the one that’s done well for himself and now seems to have no kinship or even subtle bias in favor of the African diaspora. I’m starting to understand how he/she got that way. Cus we all learned our history (well, maybe not all of us… which would explain a lot in terms of our success-story extremities) and there must be a point at which each of us felt like we should do something to rise up, whether selfishly or more so in a Black-Nationalist sort of way. At some point those Horatio Alger brothas had to be like “Man, the rest of y’all are on some bullsh*t! Holla at me when you have your first million. I’ll be in the gated communities. Peace.” Anyway, that dude doesn’t seem so unforgivable anymore and i am probably just one dumb muphucka from sighing “f*ck it, good luck”.

I swear the percentage of times I see Black people that I hope no one else is seeing is rising. Everyday on my way to work downtown I see two main types… brothas whom I can believe have a job & dudes whose incomes have questionable legality/origins. I almost want to ask “what are you really trying to do with your life?” but I've resigned from simply shaking my head at the answers to ultimately not wanting to know. Now, sure I don’t know who is who, but I bet I’m a lot more fair in making these snap-judgments than most others. (I’m trying to avoid even thinking about BET… but dang-it I just went and mentioned it.)

See, I remember folks being like let’s boycott BET til they stop cooning (making Black folks look bad or making the most shucking/jiving ways “hot” or “fly-y-y-y--y-y--y-y--y”) and thinking "that seems a bit excessive". Yet, somehow over the last 3yrs though they just fell off the deep end to me. It's not a deliberate attempt to boycott the channel, BET just plain does not appeal to me anymore. Clearly I am no longer the most averagely Black brotha. I am no longer BET's demographic. Somehow I carry myself too well for that now. Really? When did that happen? This doesn’t bode well. I mean if BET ain’t for normal Black folk anymore, where are we supposed to go for some “home”. VH1 Soul? You know how much that kinda cable cost? Clearly Viacom did not have us in mind. Then again even if BET is starting to ease on down to coon town at least the Boondocks is on now.

Did I mention that my exasperated ‘f*ck it’ somehow means “do ya thing” or "have at it." I know, I know. 3/5’s of me is on that Cornel West, Tavis Smiley, “We need to rise up” tip. But that ‘f*ck it’ fraction is spreading like mayonnaise (no pun intended, whiteness -> mayonnaise); I’m thinking that those of us trying to do better will do so and eventually reach their goals, while those on that street game BS will get weeded out in the same institutionalized traps we’ve been falling into since 1964. (I don’t see anything as our fault before then because we made some amazing accomplishments even with America openly against us… i.e.> Paul Robeson.) Sidenote: I don’t know why America is trippin’ over us… we’re like 10 percent of the nation and despite the paternity prominence displayed on [pick a day-time show, even the judge ones] “we are not the fathers” TV. I mean to say our numbers aren’t really rising at an alarming rate. Calm down, Lady Liberty. Terror alert ‘happymeadow green’ (viridian).

Maybe it’s cus we stopped having leaders to call us out on some bullsh*t until recently. Apparently it’s too little too late though. I ran into this one brotha who apparently was ‘so relieved to meet a young brotha with a good head on his shoulders’ (pause). He runs some youth program and the youngins were on some mess to the effect of “I wouldn’t vote Barack cus he’s not a brotha; we need to elect Hillary cus that will put Bill back in the white house. He was the first Black president!” I mean I knew we were f*ckin up but WOW. Sadly, too many WOWs are arising. He was speechless at the youth. He told me I was the highlight of his day like 3 times before leaving. Now this was a brotha in his 50s who has clearly lived through Jim Crow and such he is starting to lean into “f*ck it”?! Finding refuge in young cats like me? Where am I supposed to go? These kids bett’ not be the future. I’m not so sure I wanna be my brotha’s keeper anymore. I don’t “walk it out” (most cooning dance ever in my book) … thus that ain’t my brotha really! Dilemma. I wanted to find these kids and debate them until they cried or were suicidal … or whoop some down-south sense into them. Either way, why are they in our gene pool? Why do they suck at life? I blame the parents. Sidenote: We also joked about the Boondocks; he’s more than twice my age. How great is that?! Clearly he was the highlight of my day.

When trying to understand the misguided youth of the day, people always point to rap as the pied-piper with it's fife of ignorance. I don’t fault rap (and i do consider hip-hop vastly different. It may be falling off, but at least it’s trying). Anyway, the rappers aren’t the real problem. Shoot, they just tryina get paid. Hell from a business sense I got to give the mainstream rappers props (this is the only way that will ever happen). Aside from putting a whole bunch of n*ggas to work. Here you have taken a marginalized experience (aka hood life), polished it, packaged it and sold it back to your own people (and anyone else gullable enough to drop bills) til they are addicted to it, believing that it’s that “good sh*t”. You are the suppliers and more than likely have ties to most of the other dealers giving the people their fix. Hell, if you really want to bank, you team up and run train on they pockets knowing they will fork over the last of they paycheck to get them new mixtapes/albums. From there, cast off anybody that doesn’t feel you as a hater or “conscious n*gga” and roll on 'bout your business. All the while hoping that your audience keeps forgetting the fact they you are perpetually bragging about what you have/what they don’t have AND grounding yourself in a street life you clearly don’t have to live anymore (IF you ever did). Minions praising you as a business man not realizing that it’s the cats in fine print on the back of your album that are really balling. Companies whose execs probably can’t even spell your stage name let alone tell you apart from the next one. Why should they… they are your pimp. "Ho hard and bring it home to us!" Now go play dealer for us. Hell, that hustle is so beautiful… i’m one dumb muphucka away from droppin a mixtape. I’d need a name though… some reference to a ‘crispy’ shoe preceded by ‘Lil’. A hustle built on the back of a true artform. Well, B.I.G. was right… I never thought that hip-hop would take it this far.

See, I remember the gunshots outside my window living in H-Town. And anybody that’s really had some hood experience is probably trying to move out that joint. Well, was… Now someone is profiting off us literally buying into the belief that these gentrified sections of city separated from any development is where we want to be. WOW! … Shoot, how do you not jump the moon and start respecting how gangsta that hustle is? You convinced the people who had everything took from them that smart is wack, that they want to be at the back of the bus, that jail is cool, that getting shot is a merit stripe, and that the hood is where they want to stay. Bravo!! Er I guess... ghetto fabulous?

It all comes back to the people though. Some are hoes and some are CEOs (the real kind with stock options and IRAs). Those of us who want more will find some way to get it, provided they really want it. Else they’ll stay where they are… or do some BS and get trapped. Happens… (maybe I should write a book on this, but supposedly we don’t read anymore. Shoot, even I don't read as much as I'd like to.) Really it’s just too late to go on about my people. If you are in it, you know. If you are mad, you should be. If you ain’t mad, I understand. I mean I could care, I should care, but... ‘f*ck it’ I got bills to pay.

Peace & Blessings

Mass Funeral

Today I witnessed a record breaking site. There had to be 70 cars in this funeral procession. I know I want to be mourned when I'm gone, but not to the degree that people who did not know me hate me for impacting their normal routines/lives with my death. Unless there will be an all-out parade. With blocked off streets, etc and a real motorcade. However, maybe that will cause even more ire. "I'm sorry, I'll try harder not to die next time. Or at least try harder to be hatefully remembered." Speaking of hatefully remembered, there so many vehicles in the procession that everyone witnessing this trail of tears must have thought the following:

1> This must be every single person that has ever known this individual.

2> This person must be famous... Or infamous.

3> These people couldnt have carpooled?! Clearly they are going to the same place.

Look what we got...



Joy...

Classic comment...

Props to Jamie Foxx on the best response to the Rock/Lee altercation.
(stay tuned - it's two videos back-to-back)

Quit playin' games w/ my heart...

Backstreet boy 50 Cent has threatened to quit if Kanye outsells him. Clearly he doesn't know much about economics. Unfortunately for him just about everyone that will by his new album, will also buy Kanye's new album. But to make things worse, there are a few million additional people who will also buy Kanye's album who might not even have begun to incorrectly ask 'what is this 50 Cent?'

Now i've seen a number of dramatized (but quietly coincidental) retirements. This doesn't seem like one that will let (1, 2,3, 4...) FiF go out on top. There are thousands of hip-hop heads out there right now that have their hopes set high. Besides when ur the guy the haters love to hate, and the haters outnumber ur fans... the last thing you want to do is set yourself up for failure. It's like they say "Pride comes before fall!"

Peace and pie charts.
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BBC News | 50 Cent 'will quit' if sales fail

Chocolate City...
...and it's vanilla suburbs!



Sooooo much of my musical tastes stem from this foundation!

Peace.

P.S.> They also gave me so many quotations I could never live without!
For example, the post title...
"I am Sir Nose, D'void of Funk!"
"Free your mind and yo' ass will follow."
"Put a glide in yo' stride, a dip in yo' hip, and come on to the mothership!"
"Gainin' on ya!"
"Why must I be like that? Why must I chase the cat? Nothing but the dog in me!"
"Can you imagine Doobie in yo' funk?!"

Rap v. Hip-Hop
[Beware of the unresolved tangent...]

First off; I'm part of the separation between Hip-Hop (all four corners) and Rap; emcees and rappers; rhyming and rapping.
It's so antithetical that i can't even disgrace one with the other. At best they're tiered relatives.
Rap being Hip-hop's bastard lil' brother that no matter how despicable and self-destructive somehow comes out on top. (D*mn the man.)

Uchenna asked me to comment. So I will comment.

Personally, i'm quite dejected. Especially as I wake upon how many people really believe and aspire to the dystopia of mainstream rap.

It's two fold though. On one hand you have this system feeding you the idea that all that's out is this (c)rap and on the other hand you have us holding on to it, like it's going out of style. (Haha, cus it is. Yes, rap as we know it has begun it's decline in popularity. Don't worry your "why i'm hot" head, some new version will reign. Maybe this 80s baby movement, maybe not. Though anyone who really remembers the 80s knows it's nothing to miss. C'mon... pastels?!)

I choose to focus on our part of it, cus the system is lost and really doesn't know what the people want. It's just going to continue as-is until we make someone doing something different ridiculously rich (not wealthy, that's for the people behind the person doing that new thing. Ahem, Lupe.)
Anyway, mayn, I'm two steps from not giving a [censored]. (Clearly not there cus i am here fulfilling a simple request for a comment.) I love my people but they ain't got love for me or my brothas and sistas. Y'all heard about the civil war between Black folks and n*ggas... right now we Blacks are losing. Yes, we, and deep down, i'm country; pretty dang country. But at least I carry myself to command respect in public.

What am I to respect on the radio or BET? I guess I respect the hustle. The ability to spin & sell every stereotype we complain/protest/march about back to us and have us cherish it with the same ardent materialism infused in it goading us to buy everyone but our own peoples product. D*mn what happened to "buy black"? I guess that's my pro-black side.

Personally i've done what Kamaria suggests. Not that I meant to, however (but i promote it now; even though i know y'all won't do it - maybe BET/radio will change, sike). When she said it a couple of years ago I thought it was excessive (though most effective) and highly unlikely. Next thing you know I didn't care what was on the radio or on BET, blasphemy. Still don't; they don't play the artists I support/enjoy anyway. [I could have left it at "they don't play artists".] And i don't know anyone who is more averagely Black than I am. Of course they may exist, but i don't know them. So, I'm RBP #1. At least I was, I'm not so sure anymore. The new reigning RBP probably really follows/believes the hype. Hey, BET/radio, I'm Black too; i may not walk it out, but I'm not (that) militant or celebrating Kwanzaa either (but who does, especially if u know Ron Karenga's history or 'alleged' link to COINTELPRO).

So if I'm/we're out then they've lost their supposed demographic. I don't know who still likes BET and the radio [probably white folk] but they can keep it. Besides, it's not like the content is stuck in your head because it's good; it's just repetition. Hell, you will like most anything if you hear it enough times (ask a record executive). ESPECIALLY when you can make fun of it like we can so much of the content in the mainstream.

I way off target though, i guess what i really should say is good job Uchenna. But i don't know if i really even care.

I mean that group prolly won't amount to much anyway. They don't have the nearly billion dollar industry backing them (to my knowledge). Shoot they don't even have Uchenna backing them. I hope I, at least, have his support.
So i guess one could argue the general result of Uchenna's action. One small step for man, one giant leap deeper into hypocrisy. Good job though, buddy. Still...
Y'all want change, so be it. You want a message, support music w/ a message. You like what's out, go buy it. Folks pirate the music they wish prevailed in the media, but buy their "guilty pleasure". I'm biased though, i got an album out. Y'all know I got an album, u know me... that's two reasons to support. What's your excuse? Big thanks to those of you who have bought a copy.

So... quit your b*tchin', you can't really complain about a system you fund.
YOU LITERALLY PAY THEM TO FEED YOU THIS (c)RAP. As Pimp C said in the cited interview, "you shouldn't be doing anything you are ashamed of anyway." And you d*mn sure shouldn't fund it. That don't even make sense.

But as i've always said, "people rarely do the things that make the most sense." Think about it... it's true.
"...but i'm not bitter." [A reference to the "Block Party" sound track for those of you funding good music.]
I buy music to give artists one more point towards going "platinum" cus that's all that matters nowadays. Them folks that were going platinum anyway, meh, screw 'em, they'll be alright.

That's my word. But i'm biased.
Peace.
_________________________________________________________
"Buy my book! Buy my book! Buy my book!" ~ The Critic
http://www.myspace.com/melodesiac
{now change 'book' to 'album')

I feel understandably dirty...

I don't mean that I am filthy within reasonable means. In fact, i never said i was in actuality dirty. I am by most standards quite clean. Most standards being apparently below those of Nepal. And you know what, I'm not even mad. I completely understand. I may take an extra shower, but then I'd be a threat to the environment. Hmmm... i wonder what kind of ceremony i could perform:

Nepalese 'goddess' is reinstated | BBC News

Peace.

Live Er...Already ahead of ya!!

Mwa ha ha ha. All your guilt is for not Live Earth. I bought a Hybrid; WHAT?!! And this purchase was in mid June, hence before your ads. HA!!!

However, your carbon calculator has entertained me so... (and was informative, kudos)!

Live Earth Carbon Calculator

Green Peace & Blessings.

Select & Direct...

Yeah... so here is the A&R Select player for Melodesiac! Feel free to jam out to "Easenin' Spot" all day or "Latin One". I know I do. What's ur jam?





Buy Now!

Haha.
Do buy! :-)
Peace.

Star Wars + Robot Chicken = Legendary Episode

Aside from the "Darkest Sketch" ever about the Tooth Fairy, this is why i love Robot Chicken. Props to Seth and Matt.

___________________________________________________
Star Wars Robot Chicken | Viva Adult Swim

Hmmm...think think think

As my girlfriend sat tonight writing a story that will be known no doubt by hundreds of thousands, she stopped, tapped her head, then remembered what she was about to look up (or research if you will)! I chuckled slightly, the action reminded me of Winnie the Pooh and I subsequently recited "Hmmm... think think think" as if voicing her motion. She laughed too. My quick laugh halted in a sigh of contentment that she also knew the obscure reference. She didn't though. Instead she confessed to having learned one of my more deceptive traits. (I was somewhat proud of her. Shhh, don't tell her though.)

So i elaborated "Whenever Pooh was contemplating something, he did the 'Thinker' and said 'Hmmm... think think think'... only he didn't have fingers he just had the... the..." outlining my thumb and closed fingers. "Yeah, he had the mitten" she finished for me. "Wait, did he?" I asked, "Pooh had an opposable thumb right?!" "I don't think he did?" she responded. So we of course had to look it up to prove one of us the victor.

THAT SUM'OF'MA'BIZL didn't have opposable thumbs!!

Now I'm thinking, how the f**k was he always grubbin' on honey!! I mean i guess it's right, that the bear didn't have thumbs but still!! Even Owl had opposable feathers! Discrimination in the 100 acre woods! What kind of 'don't be special' message does this send the kids? He's the star of the show! The show is named after Pooh. How does nearly everyone but Pooh have an opposable thumb! Not even a thumb, a nub; a freakin' opposible nub. Heck, just give the bear a digit!

Can a bear get a thumb?!
(At least tigger the ... got one. We see what's up w/ the name 'tigger' too; sooooo not foolin' anybody! Hahahaha.)
__________________________________________________
Winnie The Pooh | The Official Website

Brand New Brand New

Hi there, (Freddy "Boom-Boom" Washington style)

Today is probably the last day I will take the T in a long time. Which i clearly didn't know at the start of this month cus then I wouldn't have bought a monthly T pass (T = the MBTA Public Transportation system). That's how fast life can turn around. God is good.

I have a useless T pass cus now i have a car. I have a car now cus I have a new job. I have a new job cus ... well... I wanted more money to support my passion (music). And of course, I need for the usual reasons. Keep a look out for that and of course the current album out.

Anyway, in other news my girl got one of her old stories in a local paper. Who's proud?! Me. Why, cus i know that it's an OLD ... OLD story, and she's even better now. So... yeah. Be on the lookout for her, but for now peep how she wrote about high school when some of us were merely trying to escape it.

Yeah, it's amazing how fast things change. :-)
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Willar Wigan's Microsocpic Art | Ever-so gently exhale "Ballin'!!"
"Like A Man Among Boys" | Carla Dash (pg. 20)

Mainstream...

Debut album from Melodesiac, "Hands High" is now available on iTunes.
Today iPod; tomorrow iWorld!! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!!

-Brendth
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Patriarch


R.I.P. Ira Stanford

MELODESIAC ALBUM NOW AVAILABLE!!!


That's right, after a few months and nearly half a year of inquiries the debut album from my band, Melodesiac, was finally released on April 4th 2007. We sold about 15% of the initial printing the first day. Who knows how much now? So I recommend you catch your copy at CDFreedom.com Thanks for the patience and support. The reviews from the public and the Tufts Daily are beyond our expectations. "We 'bout to go Granite, son!!!" Haha, but yeah we are about to sell out for real. So don't procrastinate.
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Melodesiac @ CDFreedom.com

Rap-Cat is the truth, son...

Not even gon' lie... I'd prefer Rap-Cat to be top of the charts right now than alot of other acts right now. That's how far things have fallen.



'Cause I don't hate the players... just the game.

Peace & Blessings.
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XXLmag.com | Rap-Cat > Lil' Wayne

D*mn it feels good to be a gangsta...
(aka...At least they're honest about it in the South.)

You ever had a situation that was so appallingly racist you were surprised anyone could still be that ignorant. Like 'how did you survive with the Neolithic opinions?' Then you just want to completely belittle them until they feel dumb as hell.

Tonight my band was playing at this club on one of the most popular strips in the Boston area. Honestly, I never heard anything about the place til we were booked to play it. Upon arrival I was disappointed cus i thought the place was twice as big as it was (stupid deceptive online photos). We sound check, everything is smooth. The band before us does the same and the band (excluding me) go to get something to eat. Upon arrival they are given a hard time at the door. The band was not up to dress code. ... Wait... Dress code? Who said anything about a dress code tonight?

Yes. After we've already been set to play we find out there is a dress code. Now sure it is not the clubs fault they have a dress code. We should have been informed in the booking true. However since it's too late for that now, I ask to speak with the manager. Surely, he'll be reasonable about the situation.

The security guard i've been talking with up to now (whom i've deemed Uncle Tom aka House Slave Supreme) points me to a 'gentleman' outside in a black wool trenchcoat. May I also mentioned that he refused to explain why they hold fast to their dress code tonight? So I go over to the manager, at which point he and I begin to discuss this policy.
(I shall paraphrase to make him seem more intelligent than he tried to be.)

His point: We have a dress code to keep the crowd civil.
My point: Our crowd is a music-appreciating college crowd, they are not a rowdy bunch.

His point: Hip Hop shows have fights.
My point: We've never had a fight at a show. We've never had a dress code at a show.

His point: We are trying to avoid a certain time of clubgoer. This is an upscale establishment (he said 'joint' i think).
My point: We the band are not to dress code. The engineer is not to dress code. Some of the people you've already let in are not to dress code.

His point: We're not changing the dress code just for tonight.
My point: Why not?

His point: Cus I do not want to?
What I thought: "Are you three?"
What I said: What is your reason for that?

His point: If we slide tonight. People will constantly want to come in under dressed.
My point: Why would you suddenly lose your ability to turn them down then?

His point: It doesn't matter, it's not changing anyway.
My point: Then you are content to have twenty people at this gig versus filling the place to capacity.

His point: Yes.
My point: How does that make sense? Not only are you losing out financially for the evening but you are also denying a new crowd the experience of your 'joint'.

His point: Doesn't matter the dress code is not changing tonight.
My point: So who do you decide gets in or not?

His point: No 'baggy' jeans. No boots. No sneakers. No Polo shirts.
What I'm thinking: Now you know good and well who wears Polo shirts.
What I say: That's very subjective.

His point: We know the type we're looking for. They wear the baggy jeans, they come to the hip-hop shows and they start fights.
My point: Well that sounds like y'alls problem to me. Our crowd is not that type.

His point: Well how do I know that?
I'm thinking: Bout time. Possibly the best retort you've had this entire debate.
I say: True, however I can tell you that our crowd looks and dresses a lot like me.

He looks me up and down surveying my jeans and hoodie and asks what i have under the hoodie. I have a black t-shirt on. He concedes that I would not get in. I laugh, fighting the urge to slap him with my degree. I ever-so-eloquently communicate that as he can see just cus i'm dressed 'a particular way' doesn't say the first thing about me. He asked if i've ever seen people in tuxedos fight. I respond yes. Clearly lying but it was a dumb point (even beyond the exaggeration that people are wearing tuxedos to this 'joint'). So why concede? He asks if i've seen people not dressed up fight. Dumber question. So I point out how civil i've been in this entire debate while he's the dressed up one who has been cussing to me.

At which point the promoter suggests talking to the guy above this 'manager'. Which pissed me off (though i didn't show it) cus that means i just spent half an hour debating with the lackey.

I turn to the promoter and relate that the number of people they turn away tonight will be far greater than the amount they admit. I went on to say either way this is not going to reflect well on this establishment (verbatim 'it's going to give the club a bad name'). Lackey then interrupts and says "Oh your going to give my club a bad name, then forget the gig then. You can't play here." I'm thinking "good move buddy, making a small show a no show = better results ... clearly he has his MBA on lock)". Let's expound on the economics of it. 2 people = little or no money. However we're still set to get paid a booking rate. So financially, not playing works better for us. As far as reputations go, we could just send an email explaining the situation then play another show next week and be good. They would still be dicks.

Let's wrap this up... promoter talks to boss. Boss is like bring 'em in. Boss apologizes lets us know about how they had a bouncer stabbed (i'm thinking sounds like a personal problem, homey). Lackey gets written up. We play a pimp show. Put some new people on to us. I come home and though I wasn't going to give them a bad name before... i sure am putting the truth out there now. As Thom Yorke once sang... "You do it to yourself, you do, and that's why it really hurts!" [Radiohead - Just]

Peace & Blessings.


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THEMODERN - 36 Lansdowne St Boston MA

Spell check and send...

As you may know i'm exercising alot of patience right now as I try the different musical aspirations I have. The hardest part is seeing the goal and still being JUST out of reach (for now).

The band has just finished mixing the debut album. (I'll elaborate another time... maybe. Probably not.)

I just finished writing a song for a major artist. (Pray for me.)

I have 2 songs of my own FINISHED and like 4-5 more half finished. So I will be able to gig soon.

I can almost taste victory!! Just gotta stay on my grind and accept my blessings. For now I'm out... gonna focus. I met a young lady today who wants to be a writer but is focused more on her current job. I asked if she still writes. She appeased my ambition (I think). I wish her the best and say to you keep dreaming and making moves towards them.

Peace & Blessings.

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Pop Culture Finds Lost Boys -- Friday, Feb. 02, 2007 -- TIME MAGAZINE

Put your records on...

So.... we (Melodesiac) just finished mixing our first LP. I'm jamming it now. All that is left is to master it and then press copies for the public. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha. Tell a friend i said 'mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha'.

But yeah that's what is up with me. And I'm trying to put together some other music for an artist or two. As always working on my songs. Lastly, going to work. By the end of the year I will be way better off.

Is this gonna be bizarro year?!

Happy New Year!
I had to work today. But I got a raise! As well, i get time and a half. So ... me happy... kinda!

Anyway, ran into an acquaintance on the way home, he missed his train home so i am letting him crash on the couches downstairs. Introduced him to the roommates, they seem cool with it all.

Anyway, the real reason i am blogging right now and not writing some songs is because of this article.
BBC NEWS | Americas | Tabby cat terror for black bear
Dang shame! Definition of punk! Or, as I said maybe this is just Bizarro Year!

Peace.

Godfather of Soul

Possibly the most entertaining performer. I can't think of someone who I listen to who he hasn't influenced.

If you were up on James Brown, find something of his and play it repetitively.

Recommendations:

This Is A Man's World
Payback


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BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Soul star James Brown dies at 73

'Feel free to have other Flying Spaghetti Monsters before me. I don't mind.'

Missed opportunities...

I like to think of myself as apart from the "necessities" of society. I can live without an iPod and don't need PS3. I can go without TV, internet, and most electronics for periods (hopefully short periods) at a time; especially if I can work on music in the meanwhile.

Today however I left my phone at my girl's place. 'No biggie, I'll just find someother way to contact her when I am on my way there', I thought to myself this morning. Seeing that this eventful night I was waiting for was tomorrow I was good. Cut my hair today, went in to work on one of my off-days. (Overtime pay, and making my work-week a little easier by spreading out the load). I was good. Chillin in fact. Jammin' D'Angelo's Voodoo album all-day, also my boss brought his copy of Jay-Z's Blueprint to bump in the workroom. Coolest old Jewish dude I know.

Anyway, I get home and find out that the event was switched to tonight. Of course I missed it cus I was at work. Even though I could have left work at ANY time. Dah well, I'm sure I'll get to mingle with movie stars and other folks in their network another day; cus u know that happens all the time for me. Grrrr... phone.


Peace.
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Beatles, Elvis, Jay-Z or Rolling Stones.... where's Michael?

What is this, cop F-up week?



"Forget the police!"

Also, how u supposed to fight crime when two of y'all can't handle a 92yr-old?
Peace.

Big Ole Words...

So I know i've been keen on Cee-Lo since the Goodie Mob days... and I thought he originally proved why i singled him out on a track called "Big Ole Words" from his Perfect Imperfections LP...

Yeah... my boy Lasu threw this my way...



Gone let that marinate...
...think about what u think you know versus what u know you don't know!

Peace.
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C'mon. Even 10 bullets each from 5 cops would be excessive, Bloomberg...

One nation under a blue...

Mwa ha ha ha ha. Dems have the House & the Senate. And Mass just elected a Black man as Govenor. My district in Texas is still represented by a congressman who i feel understands me better than most. And I'm still Employee of the Month. Ok, the last part was irrelavent, but I just felt I needed one more good thing.
I'm busy i'm out!
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BBC NEWS | South Asia | India eunuchs turn tax collectors

Busy duckin' the Po-Pos...

Sike... Though it is not entirely untrue, I just don't mean to glorify it. See last week the band and I wrecked shop at this party at Tufts University, so then we set out to do the same at M.I.T. It was crunk for all of 5mins before the cops got Maxwell on us and came knockin. We didn't want to get nobody innocent in trouble so we turned it down a bit. Nope, came knockin' again... needless to say we didn't really oblige like we should have cus there wasn't going to be any pleasin' them. I look it as a testament to the liveness of our show. You ain't jammin' if you don't get the cops called on you at least once. However this would be twice in our case. We just finished last time though, HAHA WHAT?!...

We are doing a gig on Nov. 14th at Harper's Ferry, and the proceeds are supposed to go to the Big Brothers / Big Sisters organization, so turn up if you can.

Rutgers University - be forewarned, we coming for ya on Nov. 18th. Let 'em know. Tired of the false protection and serving. That is it... I'm out.

Peace
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YouTube - D' Angelo - Live @ Chris Rock