Monday, May 30, 2005

Jane Doe...

So a friend of mine recently started a blog and in it she mentioned her views on platonic relationships. Her view is that they are completely possible, whereas I view them as rare. She mentioned this and I believe it to be true, in most cases one party has unreturned attraction to the other. Instead of courting the person however they settle for friendship. I think the only cases where this doesn't happen is between homosexual males and women; which it may still happen in one of those "If he wasn't gay..." type of deals. See the thing is... people usually hang with folks that are around the same attractiveness as they are, were we to quantify attractiveness that is, give it a number and such. In fact, lets say i'm a 7 (out of 10)... then most of my close friends are probably 6,7,8s. This is the norm. Some folks have the friend that's a 3 or so, but you know how those things work out. At some point they've probably worked out the issues of "You pretty, I'm ugly... blah blah blah" until both are secure in who they are. However there are studies that conclude to what I said before. (Go find them.) The point is... if you are around someone long enough that you have no reason not to find attractive (meaning you very well should) then eventually the thought will cross your mind (probably multiple times). The way it works is that one or both of you is in a relationship already or some other hindering circumstance. Or (like alot of people) you believe that intimacy changes the friendship or something like that so you never let anything occur from fear of losing the friendship (that's a norm - hence the cliché: "I don't want to ruin our friendship"). Which is quite useful if your not the type of person who has those types of interpersonal fences, cus it's a good way to let someone down easy.
Now for those people who have a more liberal view on interpersonal relationships, sh*ts just not that crucial. As well, alot of would-be drama is saved due to that view; except when involved with non-liberals. (Liberal in this sense having nothing to do with politcal stance, more so the degree of nonchalance with which you cross the norms of they friendly or romance.) So for these liberal people it's you and your friend and you both are nonchalant so mess never gets awkward cus there's no reason for it to be so why not explore? That's the thing that I wish more people could understand. Life is only as awkward as you accept it to be. In many cases you could brush mess off as 'not that crucial'. You're attractive, you're friends attractive, and the only thing stopping you is that you think thing will be awkward... that's BS. But that's how people operate, while the rest of us live happy freaky lives.
People rarely do the things that make the most sense. They really should. What would Plato do? The real platonic relationship is between those who very well could be intimate together but just choose not to; not for any reason but simply that they never feel like it. When they do they do, when they don't they don't. I would be interested in meeting those who have this mentality. I feel like we would be very cool. Dah well.

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