Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Them dang ole spiders, mayn...

Dear Spiders,

I officially announce my beef with you. Not ALL spiders, just stupid spiders. Never have I ever ... (never have i ever?) walked through spiderwebs on a consistent basis. It has become a battle. First assumptions were that the webs only existed over the sidewalks between hedges and street signs. So naturally i figured walking in the middle of the street equals a solution. BLASTED SPIDERS got me still. Really though?! What warped spiders are trying to catch food on a street?! They can't be eating that much cus PEOPLE TEAR SPIDERWEBS. Like really though?! I want you all to eat. For the most part, I like spiders. Just not on me. You know I have a 1-foot rule. (If your within 1-foot of me, you relinquish your right to live.) Remember when it was 3-feet. I'm trying to help y'all out.

Also let's look at this from your point of view (POV). You're a spider, you just spent a long amount of (whatever concept spiders have of) time building your food trap and rip-rip-rip ya whole masterpeice gone. Surely you're not going to build a web in tear-down territory again, right? Oh no, you're hard-headed little spiders. You just keep on building. I mean you think Darwinism would take care of this. No web, no food, lesson learned. I don't know though, I KEEP walking through the spiderwebs. It always catches me off guard. You basically ruin my whole vibe. I go from happy/clean to sticky/webbed. I don't know where you're web has been. Nor do I think I want to know. I also REALLY don't want believe that you are now ON me with your web, cus I'll kill ya!! I completely understand the malice villians and thugs must feel toward Spiderman. Webbing folks in the face is NOT cool. Shame on you spiders. I usually wish the best for most creatures, but I'm kinda indifferent about you right now. Just the stupid spiders, not you good fly-killing spiders. Keep on doing what you do.



The World Cup is evil for pitting Brazil vs. Ghana so early knowing that i'm rooting for both of them.

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